Sunday, August 19, 2012

When to break up with a friend

It's OK for friendships to end.  It's sad and one or both parties will be hurt.  But as the saying goes, all good things DO come to an end. 
I was broken up with once.  It hurt.  Though I've never grasped the exact reasons said friend put up a fence, I do now understand that she had a legitimate issue. There was something in our friendship that became toxic to her, a negativity which was (sorrowfully) tied to me.  She had the ability to pinpoint this negativity that was affecting her life and close the door on it forever.  I'm so sorry she did.  BUT.  I respect now the need for self preservation of the mind and heart. 

Like any relationship romantic or not, a relationship is based upon an ebb and flow of energy and sharing.
Here is how a happy relationship works:  I share and give to you because I know you will do the same for me.  Sharing my time, energy and efforts with you feels effortless.

Do you have a friend that causes you to lose sleep at night, anxiety, wondering if you measure up to real or imagined expectations, having feelings of dread before you see them?  Does a simple phone conversation or e-mail exchange leave you feeling drained of energy?  How much do you absorb before it's OK to close the door  on this friend, at least figuratively? The situation should never be left to simmer so long that you close the door LITERALLY in their face, right? 

If you answered yes to either of the first two questions in the last paragraph, it may be time to take action. Our lives are too short to cater to others needs and desires especially if your own are not being met.  It does not mean you no longer love this ex- friend.  I have an ex-friend who I love dearly and would never wish a bad thought to her, and yet, I can only muster up the courage to see her in person about once a year.... for about two the most.

Life is cyclical. We change jobs, we change homes, we change our politics.  The sun rises, sets and rises again. But maybe by the next full moon you will have lightened your load of negativity and there will be more smiles, more pep, more room for whats important.

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