Right - it's been a while. The three of you who read my blog know that Seababy has arrived. She is beautiful, healthy, and now is six months old.
Other exciting news is that I have renewed my USCG license. I hold a 500-ton Mate Oceans license with an Auxiliary Sailing Endorsement. Fancy, right? It took four years at a maritime academy and every summer in between to earn it. Well that license is due to expire in a few months and seeing as I don't have the sea time to properly renew it and I don't care to take the exam with a six month old baby wailing behind me, I have decided to "renew for continuity purposes only". I'm not sure exactly what the origins of this option were, but I am awfully glad the option is there. For someone in my situation it is perfect.
The last time I sailed professionally was an eight- week hitch on a research vessel out of Seattle. I sailed as an AB during the two months I had free from working at a state university as a maritime course administrator. That was in 2007. Since then all my sea time has been on small recreational boats and for pleasure - and sure I have enough experience that I could write my own sea time letter, but I think that's cheating and besides, I'd never be able to fake the tonnage.
So in a last ditch attempt to not totally wave goodbye to the piece of paper with fancy scroll work that I worked so hard to earn, I decided to renew for continuity. The process was frighteningly easy - I printed off the proper forms from the Internet, filled them out, and mailed them in to my local REC. Four – to- ten weeks later I received in the mail from the NMC a license with the words FOR CONTINUITY PURPOSES ONLY written after all my fancy endorsements and qualifications. As I stood there holding it, a feeling of sadness washed over me. Expecting relief, because the process was so easy, the sadness settled heavily on my heart - on my ego. "For Continuity Purposes Only" means that I am not eligible to work under this license. Not as a Mate, not as an AB, and certainly not as a 100 -ton Captain. My license is not expired, but it's also not valid to work on. The ink on the paper looked cheap. The paper felt thin and...worthless.
Then Seababy smiled at me from her blanket on the floor.
It's not worthless. I worked hard for that license and spent four dedicated years studying for it. The reality is I'm not going to sea anytime soon, not on a commercial vessel. Someday - hopefully sooner than later - I will go to sea with my family, Seahusband, Seababy and maybe even MORE Seababies, and I will use that knowledge and maybe even take the exam to make part of my license legit again. The knowledge dosen’t go away, (well OK, maybe my flashing light is a little rusty) but it's all still there and maybe, just maybe, I will find other ways to make to make a living with it. And if not - who cares. I have a bigger challenge on my hands, and this one takes much more than four years of dedication.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas.
It was a busy holiday. I shopped and wrapped gifts for my family and his. Packed it all into the car – the gifts, cookies, dog and pillows needed for a decent sleep at 8 months pregnant. We (the dog and I) drove two and a-half hours north to spend the night with my parents. The drive was long and tiring followed by a long uncomfortable night in the guest room, followed by a wonderful morning of gift giving and family banter. Sea Husband called to say Merry Christmas to all from the Gulf of Mexico. He sounded sad and I know he was and I wished for the words to make it ok but there were none. Our daughter is due in mid February and in order for Sea Husband to be home when she arrives he has to be at sea for Christmas. He was at sea for Thanksgiving too, so we celebrated two weeks early with a huge bird, all the trimmings and family- it felt like the real thing even though it was two weeks early. We are celebrating Christmas late – at least his mother, sister and I. We are holding off on most gifts until he is home next week. We will have another feast and it will feel like Christmas. But I still miss him tonight. After I left my folks I drove another two and a-half hours to be with his mother and sister for a feast. There was a deep fried turkey, dressing, and cookies galore. A few gifts were exchanged. As the night draws to a close I feel very lucky to have two families who love me when there are those in the world with none. I feel blessed to have a child in my belly and most of all to have a husband who loves me and loves me enough to sacrifice the holiday season so he can be home when we welcome a baby into our home. It will be a busy and happy spring. I am happy, blessed and loved, but I still miss him tonight.
It was a busy holiday. I shopped and wrapped gifts for my family and his. Packed it all into the car – the gifts, cookies, dog and pillows needed for a decent sleep at 8 months pregnant. We (the dog and I) drove two and a-half hours north to spend the night with my parents. The drive was long and tiring followed by a long uncomfortable night in the guest room, followed by a wonderful morning of gift giving and family banter. Sea Husband called to say Merry Christmas to all from the Gulf of Mexico. He sounded sad and I know he was and I wished for the words to make it ok but there were none. Our daughter is due in mid February and in order for Sea Husband to be home when she arrives he has to be at sea for Christmas. He was at sea for Thanksgiving too, so we celebrated two weeks early with a huge bird, all the trimmings and family- it felt like the real thing even though it was two weeks early. We are celebrating Christmas late – at least his mother, sister and I. We are holding off on most gifts until he is home next week. We will have another feast and it will feel like Christmas. But I still miss him tonight. After I left my folks I drove another two and a-half hours to be with his mother and sister for a feast. There was a deep fried turkey, dressing, and cookies galore. A few gifts were exchanged. As the night draws to a close I feel very lucky to have two families who love me when there are those in the world with none. I feel blessed to have a child in my belly and most of all to have a husband who loves me and loves me enough to sacrifice the holiday season so he can be home when we welcome a baby into our home. It will be a busy and happy spring. I am happy, blessed and loved, but I still miss him tonight.
Monday, October 6, 2008
The circle of life.
One of the great things about working ashore in an office is joining that wonderful CLEAN world of nicely dressed business people, comfortable and tidy offices, and "restrooms" with never ending supplies of TP. There is no rust busting, no once a week laundry privileges, no head cleaning - or de-clogging, no painting, no greasing lifeboat bearings, no awkward bridge-window cleaning, no engineering issues with heating and cooling and I can wear heels if I want to. (though I don't very often). I can buy pretty purses, and match them to my shoes, granted my shoes may be Dansko clogs, but dammit they are shiny and they are not grubby sneakers, or worse - steel toed work boots. These things I have been especially glad for and when ever I feel that longing for a an at-sea sunrise, I remind my self of all these luxury's.
However, recently our office has moved into a different space,after a major company downsizing and some things I was taking for granted have now ceased to exist. We no longer have nighttime office cleaners. That popcorn I had at 2:30 last Thursday.... still on the floor, empty bag still in the trash under my desk. The bathrooms... not being cleaned, AND we now have to stock our own TP. The heat is kept low to save money... so much for my cute new short sleeved maternity top. I have an electric space heater going and am wearing fingerless gloves and a wool zip up sweater - I wish I had thought to put on wool socks today. (and it's only October!) It has been suggested that we clean our own office including the bathroom... and I realize I sound a bit whiny here, but honestly! I though I was joining the world of suits and ties, and Banana Republic matching separates! At least no one has asked me to chip paint.
However, recently our office has moved into a different space,after a major company downsizing and some things I was taking for granted have now ceased to exist. We no longer have nighttime office cleaners. That popcorn I had at 2:30 last Thursday.... still on the floor, empty bag still in the trash under my desk. The bathrooms... not being cleaned, AND we now have to stock our own TP. The heat is kept low to save money... so much for my cute new short sleeved maternity top. I have an electric space heater going and am wearing fingerless gloves and a wool zip up sweater - I wish I had thought to put on wool socks today. (and it's only October!) It has been suggested that we clean our own office including the bathroom... and I realize I sound a bit whiny here, but honestly! I though I was joining the world of suits and ties, and Banana Republic matching separates! At least no one has asked me to chip paint.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
The Stay at Home Seawife
Being a Seawife I already feel like I "stay at home". I mean compared to what most of my peers from the maritime academy are doing, shipping out in one form or another, I do "stay at home". While at home (or ashore) I also work 40 hours a week for a company which makes nautical charts and cruising guides. I love my job, I love the people I work with and I especially love that I am using my maritime education though it has been a struggle at times to grapple with the fact that I haven't set foot on a commercial vessel for over two years. But now, expecting a Seababy I am grappling with the NEW meaning of "stay at home".
On Friday I told my boss that I would not be returning to work full time after the baby is born but that I would very much hope to be kept on part time and from home. Is some ways this sounds like a totally unreasonable request - I should just be lucky to have a job especially after my company was recently downsized by about 90 percent. But I know in my heart and in my head, that I could not work full time and send my child to daycare, and keep an orderly house and a happy husband. Doing some research on the Internet I keep coming across articles which say things like "if you are fortunate enough...", "if your budget allows...", "if you can afford the luxury of..." being a stay-at-home-mom. When did staying at home with your kids become a luxury? Don't get me wrong. I am so very grateful for all the women of history who have broken down doors and have so far allowed me into a school, and a career where previously only males existed, but now it seems our society has swung the opposite direction. You are an inadequate woman if you CANT handle a career and a family at the same time! (The emergence of Sarah Palin has brought many of these issues to the forefront of discussions and I am glad for that - though I'm not a huge fan of her possibly being our Vice President.) Anyhow, I was very relieved to have the support of my parents, family and husband and also my co-workers as I made the decision to Stay At Home, at least partially, while I watch the little one grow.
On Friday I told my boss that I would not be returning to work full time after the baby is born but that I would very much hope to be kept on part time and from home. Is some ways this sounds like a totally unreasonable request - I should just be lucky to have a job especially after my company was recently downsized by about 90 percent. But I know in my heart and in my head, that I could not work full time and send my child to daycare, and keep an orderly house and a happy husband. Doing some research on the Internet I keep coming across articles which say things like "if you are fortunate enough...", "if your budget allows...", "if you can afford the luxury of..." being a stay-at-home-mom. When did staying at home with your kids become a luxury? Don't get me wrong. I am so very grateful for all the women of history who have broken down doors and have so far allowed me into a school, and a career where previously only males existed, but now it seems our society has swung the opposite direction. You are an inadequate woman if you CANT handle a career and a family at the same time! (The emergence of Sarah Palin has brought many of these issues to the forefront of discussions and I am glad for that - though I'm not a huge fan of her possibly being our Vice President.) Anyhow, I was very relieved to have the support of my parents, family and husband and also my co-workers as I made the decision to Stay At Home, at least partially, while I watch the little one grow.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
SeaSister
By the way, my dear little sister is spending 9 months in Germany as a nanny. Here is her blog. Thus far she follows in my footsteps of not updating on a regular basis, not posting photos and including questionable punctuation and spelling. But she's cool and I love her so maybe you will enjoy it too. PS -She is a SeaSister, because she went to sea for four months in high school with Ocean Classroom. She also has taught sailing for 4 years to the kiddies in our hometown. If only I could get her to attend a Maritime Academy, I'd have the perfect clone!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Seahouse and Seababy
We bought a house. Seawife and Seafaring Husband are now homeowners. He has been home for the move and settling in parts – which is good because I’ve been busy, creating a placenta and feeding a being who has decided a good place to grow, is my womb. That makes me tired and weak.
The recent hurricanes in the Gulf Of Mexico have affected this time home a little – though firstly I am relieved he has not been IN the storms! Now, it is time to throw a lovely housewarming party to celebrate our piece of the American Dream Debt Pie and to schedule it when he will be home. He MAY be leaving tomorrow or later this week, though the scheduling office in Texas was evacuated and is still without power. So if he were to leave this week it’s most likely that we would hear at the last minute and he would be gone within 24 hours. If we don’t hear by Thursday – it could be safe to assume he’ll not be called to duty for another two weeks with the next crew change. Being the social coordinator for a husband who goes to sea is a difficult task.
The recent hurricanes in the Gulf Of Mexico have affected this time home a little – though firstly I am relieved he has not been IN the storms! Now, it is time to throw a lovely housewarming party to celebrate our piece of the American Dream Debt Pie and to schedule it when he will be home. He MAY be leaving tomorrow or later this week, though the scheduling office in Texas was evacuated and is still without power. So if he were to leave this week it’s most likely that we would hear at the last minute and he would be gone within 24 hours. If we don’t hear by Thursday – it could be safe to assume he’ll not be called to duty for another two weeks with the next crew change. Being the social coordinator for a husband who goes to sea is a difficult task.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Day 1
Day 1.
Today he left for a 28 day hitch. New ship, new company, new crew and new hope for a good working environment. We call it a hitch not a deployment because we are Merchant Mariners.
Today I feel relaxed, confidant, like a good Seawife battening down the hatches while my husband will be away for a few weeks. I went to work, made phone calls to the realtor, bank and insurance offices (we're about to buy our first house). After work I took the dog for a more than adequate 40 minutes of playtime at the park then went to yoga (Bikram of course). The dog needed a good hosing off in the dark when we got home - it is mud season here in New England.
A good day, a good start to a hitch. No anxiety, no tears, a good Seawife.
Today he left for a 28 day hitch. New ship, new company, new crew and new hope for a good working environment. We call it a hitch not a deployment because we are Merchant Mariners.
Today I feel relaxed, confidant, like a good Seawife battening down the hatches while my husband will be away for a few weeks. I went to work, made phone calls to the realtor, bank and insurance offices (we're about to buy our first house). After work I took the dog for a more than adequate 40 minutes of playtime at the park then went to yoga (Bikram of course). The dog needed a good hosing off in the dark when we got home - it is mud season here in New England.
A good day, a good start to a hitch. No anxiety, no tears, a good Seawife.
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