He's home and he's changing jobs. Recently I was asked, "when does your husband go back to sea?" The honest answer is of course, " I don't know" , but to many that answer is not suitable, not comprehensible. "You don't KNOW?!" they exclaim. I then must launch into my practiced dialogue about why I don't know and more specifically why I must not pretend to care too much about when my husband will leave home and return to sea. "He could be leaving as early as this weekend and heading to the Gulf of Mexico for two or four weeks. Or, he might be headed to the coast of Africa for anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months. He will not be home for Christmas, most likely, though that may change depending on his new job schedule, so I can't plan on it anyhow."
And to the question of "Do you have any plans this weekend?"' I must always smile and say casually, "Well none specifically, just a quiet family weekend." When what I really want to say is that ,no, how could I possibly make plans for this coming weekend, when it may turn out to be the only chance to celebrate Christmas with him this year. Likewise I must be sensitive that it might be his fathers LAST Christmas.
The invitation of "Dinner next week?" is often replied with a more polite version of the following ... "Oh how nice of you to ask I will get back to you within three to five days and we may or may not even be able to commit at that time, could we just play it by ear and maybe have you over for pizza but then cancel at the last minute because he's leaving tomorrow."
And yet though all of this I have never been happier, never felt luckier, and never been smiling so much for so long. Each minute, each hour we spend together is the most precious thing to us and we make it count. Each fight, ends with passionate apologies and promises to come to a compromise. Each laugh is drawn out, and an appreciation you can only find in a best friend is fulfilled. There are times, when I am unsure of my ability to accept this lifestyle, but THIS time, right NOW, I am HAPPY.
4 comments:
Thank you for putting it into words.
You write so beautifully and capture the true emotion that a Coastie wife feels.
Thank you. May you enjoy the time you have together, whenever you get it!
Clearly you're one of those unique people who see the best in everything, and hey I really love your humourous writing style! As if to illustrate your point, I spent the better part of today with your husband and his sister & nieces.... way the heck over here in NZ. Don't worry we are looking after him, even if the girls have been rumbling him around :) Hope to meet you one day!
Hi Seawife
I can totally relate to your blog, being a sailors wife also. We (I have three children aged 5,3 & 2) have seen Dan (Kiwi-at-Sea) for a total of three weeks in the last 6 months and have only just waved him off for another two month trip! Saying goodbye is always the hardest part, but we both accept the lifestyle and look forward to the return home, how ever long it will be?
They do completely mess up the schedule when they return from their adventures though, as you just want to absorb all of the time you have with them, while you have it, so house work will just have to wait. :-)
Keep up the blog – It’s a great read.
All the Best
A very moving account. Your husband is a fortunate man. Much appreciated by an ex UK Mariner. You sound like the girl we always sought and maybe never found. Many thanks for your blog and the best of good fortune to you both.
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